I had an NST, Fetal Non-Stress Test, scheduled for Tuesday, July 16 to check on Liam and to see how he was doing. When I arrived at my appointment, I was hooked up to a machine to monitor his heartbeat and to see if I was having any contractions.
|All hooked up!|
It wasn't long until my name was called and I was walked to a room in the back. I sat patiently in the dimly lit room waiting for the technician to come in. My palms were sweaty and I was nervous. Soon we heard a knock on the door and our ultrasound technician came in. She was super sweet which helped calm my nerves. She was checking all the measurements and what not. We asked if she could figure out Liam's estimated weight and she said 8 lbs and some oz. Let me just be honest and say that I was afraid when she said that. It also didn't help to hear them refer to Liam as a big baby! Towards the end of the ultrasound, she started to check the fluids and got quiet. That's when Cal and I looked at each other like "what the hell is going on?" The doctor came in, not my OB but the doctor they have at this ultrasound office, and she wasn't as friendly as I would have liked in this now scary situation. She got straight to work and started checking my tummy. Even she said that Liam was a big baby! Then she said the words that changed my entire mood, "Well guys, it looks like you're going to have your baby today." What?! But wait, I'm not ready for this! I know he's 2 days over due, but I'm still not ready for this! On top of the immediate fear of giving birth, the doctor had scared me by saying the reason why I need to go to the hospital now was because my fluid was low. She even brought up how babies can become still born from low fluid. I definitely did not need to hear that!!
The doctor left the room and told me she would double check with my OB if they should send me straight to the hospital or to her office. Not long after, a technician was sent in and she told us that we need to go straight to the hospital. I didn't have anything with me. I just thought they were going to check me and I could go home. So we asked if we had time to go home, about 15 minutes away, to grab my hospital bag. The technician went to double check with the doctor and said "No, the doctor wants you guys to go straight to the hospital. But don't worry, your husband can get your stuff while you check in".
So Calvin and I walked hand in hand out of the office and to the car. I was in shock. I remember calling my mom right away and I got out "they're sending me to the hospital..." before I started bawling. I was scared. I'm pretty sure Calvin was scared too because he was quiet. Then I remember calling my cousin and telling her .I left her a message and was crying saying how scared I was and what the doctor had told me. I then called my brother, who was with my sister in Hawaii. I remember crying to them as well and being scared. I will never forget my brother saying "Why are you crying?" and i said "because I'm scared!". Oh man, he will never know that fear haha! We also told our doula what was going on as well. I also remember texting my good friend, Jenn, and telling her what was going on and how scared I was. I'm so lucky that everyone I decided to contact at that very moment was nothing but calm, supportive, reassuring, and everything I needed to have the courage and strength for what was to come.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, I just couldn't believe this was all happening. I knew this day was coming. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely excited to finally meet my Liam Bear. But it also meant that everything was about to change. We were about to become a family of 3. I was about to go through a lot of pain and the most difficult, yet most beautiful thing I had to do in my life. We finally made our way up the elevator and to the labor and delivery floor. My heart was beating fast. I went to check in as Calvin was talking to our doula on the phone. I was shaking and nervous. It just so happened that many mommas were in labor that day and they had no rooms available. I had to wait awhile for a room to open up. During that time I was going through a mini panic attack. My heart was beating fast, my mouth was getting dry, my palms were sweaty, and I was shaking. Calvin was doing his best to help calm me down and assure me that everything was going to be ok. Our lives were about to change.